Sometime between now, and when the sun explodes, we Merkins will engage in our next Presidential Election. Right now, I'm not invested in the process. Too early. But I thought I'd give my rundown of the current crop of candidates candidating, based on memory, at this time:
HILLARY CLINTON: The constitution limits a person to two terms as President, even by proxy. Nice try.
RON PAUL: No dude with two two first names has ever been elected President. No dude with two first names will ever be elected President. What part of "no dude with two first names" do you not understand?
MITT ROMNEY: Too white.
BARACK OBAMA: Too black.
JOHN MCCAIN: This. Ain't. Sparta!!!
RUDY GUILEEANEE: Same problem that plagues Kaddafi. Spelling.
FRED THOMPSON: Still waiting the sweet, sweet sound of implosions.
JOE BIDEN. Joe Biden.
MIKE GRAVEL: Great columnist for the Boston Globe, back when. But I don't think he's still relevant.
WOSSISNAME: Probably has the best chance.
Actually, that's all I can remember, these last two weeks. Back to my black hole.
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