Sunday, January 28, 2007

Among the most obvious things.

An Open Letter to Prime Minister Maliki, Irak:

Dear Mister Prime Minister,

I am writing this letter to express my extreme disappointment in your behaviour, to date, as the Prime Minister of Iraq. Your failures, as a leader, a man, and chordate have been legion.

Let me be clear. I hold you, you, singularly responsible for the strife, turmoil and bloodshed currently roiling the talkshow circuit, the halls of congress and the confab in davos. You don't seem to realize, or don't seem to care, that every time an IED explodes in your country, some spending initiative, some bipartisan proposal, some earmarked proposal dies a little.

Mr. Maliki, I am responsible to the citizens of my great state to ensure the rapid and frequent influx of sweet lucre. Your failure to lock down your nation and get it off my list of talking points represents a clear and present danger to my ability to conduct business as usual.

Now, I understand that irresponsible persons in our government have led you to believe that freedom and liberty is achievable and desirable. It is not. As the violence on your streets show, when the cork is removed, the yobs behave like, well, yobs. In this, you have my sympathy. The violence you see everyday is replicated everyday on the streets of America, with it's rampant gun culture, and the refusal of her citizens to STFU before the Great and the Wise.

Mr. Maliki, you have ONE MORE CHANCE.

That is why I am authorizing my speech writer to conduct a SURGE of talking points. Mr. Maliki, you need to embrace a political solution to this crisis. You need to reach out, to all six or seven sides of this sectarian (as declared boldly by NBC) Civil War. You need to engage the Al Qods forces currently operating in Baghdad and the Diyala province. You need to bring them to the table, and discuss their need to shoot down US helicopters, conduct raids in Kerbala and import weapons into your country. After all, their ultimate target is the Zionist Entity, not you. Irak is a merely a road bump to their regional ambitions. Help them smooth that road bump, Mr. Maliki. Help Snowden.

Then you need to stretch your hands wide, and reach out to the Sunni's in Anbar, and ask them why they feel the need to detonate car bombs in markets. Is it, perhaps, because of something you've down? Ask them this, Mr. Maliki, ask them this.

Then look south, Mr Maliki, look south into the orphaned eyes of Mookie Al Sadr, and embrace his pain. Is it any surprise that this young man, almost a youth, orphaned so young, feels the need to surround himself with playmates, whom you dismissively refer to as a militia?

Mr Maliki, if you were a student of history, as I am (holding several honorary Doctorates) you would understand that it is only through rhetoric, cleverly, and forcefully employed, that peace and freedom can be achieved. History, as it were, is made by the snarky, irreverent and unserious.

Let there be no doubt of this.

So put down your long sword, and pick up your long pen, Mr Maliki.


A. Dick

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