Best Review Ever

An entirely tongue in cheek take on "The 300."

So i took the afternoon off today b/c of personal time needed and went to the movies, well technically three in a row at the same theater on 16th St Pavillions, because it was a day to relax.

And i saw THE MOVIE that explains it all friends and family. You have to watch "300" b/c it really explains why the US (who is Sparta in the movie) has to go and fight the Muslims in the world. I kind of felt like i was Unitus but i think they were basically meaning he was the President, but a better one that what we've got right now, but the same leader/ruler of America. They explain that they're (Muslims) threatening our way of life and even defiles Jesus Christ who is our man in the big race.

Unitus tries to get UN approval to attack Iraq... but they're weak and feeble and turn them down. So he goes in on his own to protect freedom and culture in our Western World in this battle. On the way, ugly France (beautiful stereotype) tries to get on his side but only Unitus has the skills and utmost military technology to face the opponent in this battle so we turn them down. Unitus does take in the Aussie's on the way to the battle, though which i thought was classic! So France basically decides to backstab Unitus half-way thru his conquest and sides with the 'Persian' bastards during the battle. In the battle, they're using Sparta vs Persia as the America versus brown people (Muslims) and the scenes are incredible (old school Sparta/ancient Greek-style fighting). During the most cinematographically-awesome battle scenes, they even bring in the Chinese (one billion man army) as the Untouchables, that we have to kick in the ass as well during the mini-war.

It really shows the American woman (Unitas' wife) as being a source of strength and wisdom in the movie as well which was cool. Right up until when she sleeps with the leader of the Democratic Congress to get her voice heard and illicit support for her husband. She gets screwed literally, then shows she can f%k back by proving the leader of the Democratic party (this leader guy) is even being paid off by the damn Muslims aka Persians.

Yeah, it's a little extreme i know, but explains it a lot better in my eyes than anything i could possibly articulate. Watch the story, listen to this side of the argument (as well that of many of my friends via the movie) and then we'll talk politics.

UPDATE: I should mention I recieved this in an email.