Wednesday, April 25, 2007

The Republic of Phred

Hey, Phred.


How's it been?

Pretty busy. Burning the two or three braincells I have left; trying to get things done at work.

Oh. So, that's why you're going with the "interview" style post?

You bet.

Ok. Let's get started. Who do you think is going to win last years superbowl, the Nicks or the Mariners.

Umm. Definitely the Mariners. They have a great power forward this year.

You know nothing about sports, do you?

Not a thing.

That's o.k., we're just warming up. So, what's on your mind?

Well, I think that new planet is pretty cool, the one with water, or potential for water.

Gliese 581c?

Yeah, that's the one. Pretty cool. Maybe life, maybe none. But it sure is livening up here about our local. Odds are, I'll never get there to look around, but maybe someone will one day.

We could send automated probes.

We could send people.

All righty then. What else.

Hear the one about the giant prehistoric fungus?

He walked into a bar with an iman, a rabbi and......

Prototaxites. Big giant fungus. My subaltern and I have a little side bet going. I think the world largest living organism is a fungus. He says it's the Aspen forest. We argued over size versus mass. But what it comes down to is, see, the fungus is a dood. The aspen forest is a colony of doods, united "for the children," but still a collective. Borg like.

Wow. You are a nerd.

Thank you.

So, um, how to approach, are we losing?

A man once asked his sensei, he said, "sensei, the power company is threatening to turn off my lights if I don't pay my bill." And the sensei asked, "so, what are you going to do about it, you padawan learner." The p-diddy thought for awhile, and then said, "nothing." The sensei then replied, "ah, then you don't really want to have lights, then."


You have to pay your bills, if you want to have lights. Look, nevermind. You can spend all day in the soup of sophism. You can read The Management of Barbarism or even about the Plan. Dense reads, both. Or you can do this. Go down to your corner liquor store, and pick up a copy of FM 7-100 Opposing Force Doctrinal Framework and Strategy. I believe you'll find it between US Weekly and Me Daily. Flip to page 1-9 and read this:

If you think you're losing, then you are. It's the only wish that comes true, from wishing it so. What's funny was listening to the noos, last couple of days. NPR gave some airtime to "appeal for redress" run by Petty Officer James Hutto. Now he's running around giving speeches about "No justice, no Peace" and ending U.S. "Imperialism." Um, digger wasp? Petty Officer Hutto comes from a different tradition than I. Se, he's more like the aspen forest, and I, young willow, am the humongous fungus (hummmmmm).

O.K., where are you going with this?

Nowhere, actually. I was just thinking today, about the phrase, "exporting revolution." We've been at the recieving end of alot of that; communsim, fascism, nazisn, euism, worldisperkyism and islamism. All of it's pretty bankrupt, non rule bound, and ineffective. We have a revolution, here on our shores, and it's pretty well....

Care Bears?

No. Americanism. Rule of law, means testing, meritocracy, etc. We ought to push back, and export our revolution.

It's not our place to.....

Well look. That's silly. You always improve your foxhole. In this instance, the earth. Why do doods with strange ideas get to wreck entire nations, and then wag their finger in our face and say it's not our place to interfere? I've never really understood that. If this war is about ideas, we need to be pushing ours as hard as we can. You be surprised how much the Rest of the World (TM) would be receptive.

But, why?

You got anything better to do? Gliese 581c is pretty far away.

The People(TM) won't like that.

You'd be surprised.

All right, then. It's pretty obvious you're tired. Thanks for your time.

It's the most precious thing I have. Glad to share.

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