Saturday, March 31, 2007

Meme's and meanings

You know, when talking to the Fourth Estate, it's best to take the Fifth. Say one of them wanders up to you, and says, "Hi, I'm Susie, and I'm AAHHHfromthepresswritingastoryCHOOO!!! glad to meet you." Trust me, it happens.

The best thing to do is assume a blissful smile, and proceed thusly:

"Hi, Susie."

"What do you think about murderous wars of aggression?"

"All war is bad, Susie (go pound sand)."

"Do you support Peace(TM)?"

"All right thinking people support peace (bite me)."

"Will you stop crushing my dissent?"

"(Will you stop laying in front of my car?) Sure. Bye."

Then disengage, quickly.

Well, a buddy of mine called earlier today. He's an Army recruiter and it's his job to go to campuses of dialectic education and convince supple young minds to join the Awesome Death Dealing Machine that is the U.S. Army. Needless to say, he often comes up against alot of brickheadswalls. Well, this frustrates him.

In the course of his duties, he sends out alot of spam, and gets a variety of responses ("I'm gay";"I'm canadian";"STOP EMAILING ME!!!"). Well, recently, he sent out an email to the effect of your more likely to get killed walking butt naked down the streets of a major Merkin city with only ben franklins covering your naughty parts than you are to be disaggregated on the streets of Baghdad. What he didn't know was that he touched upon one of those religious meme's sifting through the memesphere.

So he gets this call. From a Fact Checker at one of those nooszines. And man, she's pissed. Told him he was negligent, wrong and ignorant of statistics. Said she was researching blogs, and that he had to have gotten his information from the blogs. Said she had a Harvard Educated Statistician (Lies, damned lies, and....) who could prove him wrong. (Remember, she's a Fact Checker)

Well, my buddy gets a bit hot and ends up falling for the "gotcha." Which is unfortunate. He's calling me up to ask me what I thought.

Dood, you got, got.

Never try to out argue a member of the Fourth Estate. They'll write whatever they damn well please. That's not judgemental, it just is.

Hopefully, nothing will come from this, as Scooter Libby and Alberto Gonzales may attempt to flee to Canada in the next week or so, Persia might spontaneously explode or something.

But still, instructive.

If the press comes a knocking, best to start walking.

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